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The few kiwi things …

Posted by te2ataria on February 21, 2011

Sent by a reader in sewage city [Wellington]

Few things that are intrinsically kiwi

A kiwi stepfather…

Simon Nicholas Plaistowe, 47, of Rotorua, was forced to plead guilty to 11 charges of making intimate recordings of his two stepdaughters and their friend, aged between 12 and 17, while they were either sleeping or taking showers in the family home.

[It’s NOT known who is in possession of the hard disk, where the shower scenes were stored, or how many copies were made. ]

http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/crime/4683724/Man-jailed-for-filming-stepdaughters

The kiwi teenager …

“The jury has retired to consider a verdict in the case of a 16-year-old girl who alleges she was raped by two men in a Nelson camping ground.”
http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/crime/4683642/Jury-retires-to-consider-rape-verdict

Day out walking in central Auckland

A man’s body was spotted by a member of the public under Pier 3 at the downtown ferry terminal in central Auckland.
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10707735

A [good] kiwi weekend …

A good kiwi weekend is probably one when the number of reported road kills are in single digits. [For the exact numbers, multiply the reported figure by an average of 4.]

At least 5 people were killed  on New Zealand Death Roads in the weekend.
http://nz.news.yahoo.com/a/-/top-stories/8873595/five-killed-in-weekend-crashes/

A “Lucky” Tourist in the Dark Land …

“An elderly man was thrown five metres after hit by a bus on Lambton Quay this afternoon,” according to a report.
http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/4676634/Tourist-hit-by-bus-on-Lambton-Quay

kiwi half-brother …

A 28-year-old man showed a pornographic video to his 14-year-old half-sister and then raped her.
http://nz.news.yahoo.com/a/-/top-stories/8868573/man-jailed-for-raping-teenage-half-sister/

kiwi prime minister…

“Prime Minister John Key today stood by his comment that some people needed to use foodbanks because they had made poor choices.”

Thanks to the multi-million dollar loots by Mr Key and rest of his gang, about one in ten New Zealander lives on ever-shrinking welfare.

Typical kiwi cuisine…

“Horse semen will be on offer at next month’s Hokitika Wildfoods festival. It’ll be around $10 for a shot and brave foodies can chase it down after with an energy shot. There’ll also be different flavours to choose from.”
http://nz.news.yahoo.com/a/-/top-stories/8868567/horse-semen-on-the-menu/

WARNING: DO NOT DRINK FROM THE SOURCE!

“US scientists said Sunday there is strong evidence linking oral sex to cancer, and urged more study of how human papillomaviruses may be to blame for a rise in oral cancer among white men.”

http://nz.news.yahoo.com/a/-/world/8875144/oral-sex-linked-to-cancer-risk/

2 Responses to “The few kiwi things …”

  1. herr rommel said

    “Typical kiwi bloke” stabs himself with bayonet
    http://nz.news.yahoo.com/a/-/top-stories/8880014/typical-kiwi-bloke-stabs-himself-with-bayonet/

    A Waihi man was lucky not to lose “the old fella” after stabbing himself in the groin with a bayonet while he was trying to tidy up his hedges.

    The 34-year-old man was airlifted to Waikato Hospital this morning by the Westpac Waikato Air Ambulance. He had a deep stab wound to his groin and was bleeding heavily when he was picked up.

    “It’s just a case of a typical kiwi bloke finding the sharpest thing he can to do something. He is lucky he didn’t lose the old fella really,” pilot Dan Harcourt told NZPA.
    The man had not been in a mood to talk when he had been picked up so it was not clear exactly what happened but he was probably just swinging the bayonet around when things went wrong and he caught himself, Mr Harcourt said.

  2. Tracey said

    [Because of the sheer frequency of occurrence here in NZ. Moderator]

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