Hawking and Ha-Satan
Posted by te2ataria on November 16, 2016
Sent by a reader, edited by DH
[Hawking has a rare early-onset, slow-progressing form of amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), also known as motor neuron disease in the UK and as Lou Gehrig’s Disease in the US, which has gradually paralysed him over the last 5 decades. Editor has therefore moderated the original strong language. DH]
Stephen Hawking says humanity has less than 1000 years left until extinction; Satan says only 999
Humans have less than 1000 years on Earth before they are wiped out in a mass extinction, says the ALS-stricken theoretical physicist.
“This grim outlook was delivered by Professor Stephen Hawking during a speech addressing the universe and the origins of humans at Oxford Union.”
Humankind can only avoid the very real possibility of extinction by finding another planet to inhabit [and thrash it,too.]
“We must also continue to go into space for the future of humanity,” he said.
“I don’t think we will survive another 1,000 without escaping beyond our fragile planet.”
[Actual translation: Business as Usual Rules OK! Come to think of it, did you ever give a fuck about your ancestors who lived 1,000 years ago — the violent, half-human flee-bags, who raped for romance, while drinking themselves to sudden death? And if not, why would you worry about your progeny in 1,000 years from now, who would probably think of you in pretty much the same way, assuming humans were still around to light their Xmas trees next year, or the year after? Think about it!]
Satan says: “Don’t believe the freak, you’ve only got 999 years left.” [Actual translation: Don’t worry! Be happy! You’re worth more dead than alive!!!]
“We face a number of threats to our survival from nuclear war, catastrophic global warming, and genetically engineered viruses,” he said in January. [Now he says we still have 1,000 years left. What part of his anatomy did he pull that figure from? Doesn’t ALS affect other parts of the brain, too? Author]
“The number is likely to increase in the future, with the development of new technologies, and new ways things can go wrong. Although the chance of a disaster to planet Earth in a given year may be quite low, it adds up over time.”
[What would you do to Hawking, or Satan, if your world came to an abrupt end 12 weeks or 6 months from now? Sue the bitches???]
Then, England’s gift to the intelligent world enters the Science Fiction orbit, adding that finding another planet was the only chance of survival.
“[We have to] spread out into space, and to other stars, so a disaster on Earth would not mean the end of the human race,” he said.
“However, we will not establish self-sustaining colonies in space for at least the next hundred years, so we have to be very careful in this period.”
[So, be careful who you vote for in America. OOPS!!!]
Thankfully (!), humankind is too busy spending 240 per cent of its income on buying weapons to destroy the world, and has no more money to throw into a black hole, enriching the space mafia [NASA et al.]