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Posts Tagged ‘Air New Zealand’

Swine Flu Paralyzes New Zealand

Posted by te2ataria on June 24, 2009

sent by a reader

New Zealand Flu Paralyzes the Swines

WELCOME to all of you foreign visitors who are visiting New Zealand this winter. We can’t guarantee you a warm welcome because too many of our intellectually challenged staff are down with New Zealand flu. However we can guarantee you a bout of nasty New Zealand flu to last you throughout your stay here and beyond.

Thank you. Thank you. THANK YOU for sharing our New Zealand flu viral mutations.

“New Zealand’s swine flu tally rose to 386 yesterday, though health officials say the real number is likely to be in the [tens of ] thousands, as regional authorities have stopped routine testing.” The Dominion Post Said.

Absence rates at Wellington region schools this week:

  • Bishop Viard College 45 per cent
  • Hutt Valley High School 30 per cent
  • Upper Hutt College 30 per cent
  • St Bernard’s College 28 per cent
  • Wainuiomata High School 26 per cent
  • Naenae College 26 per cent
  • Samuel Marsden Collegiate School (Whitby) 23 per cent [Source: Dominion Post ]

Come to New Zealand. Sample our New Zealand flu viral mutations. Try one, or a combo, for yourself. The more the merrier.

P.s.

Don’t fly our flag-carrier because other disasters could beat the swine flu virus!

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Posted in germ warfare, H1N1, poxyland, swine flu, swine flu testing ground | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Another Air New Zealand Flying Coffin Forced to Land

Posted by te2ataria on June 22, 2009

sent by a reader [an ex-pilot from Tannhauser Gate]

Flying Air New Zealand?

YOU MUST BE OUT OF YOUR **** MIND!

I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the darkness at Tannhauser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.

—An Air New Zealand Flying Coffin pilot with strong imagination quoting the character played by Rutger Hauer in Blade Runner just before crashing his Airbus into the sea!!

Airbus Must Come Clean

The Moderators have been expecting another Air New Zealand Airbus A320 to plunge into the sea (again), based on the airline’s safety statistics, but Air France beat the kiwis to it!

The probability remains that the next major air disaster would occur as a result of an Air New Zealand Airbus crashing into the sea [with a certainty of 0.74]

The following news was posted at Stuff New Zealand and is copyrighted:

Air New Zealand plane flew with cracked windshield

By MICHAEL FOX – Stuff.co.nz – Last updated 15:38 22/06/2009

An Air New Zealand plane en route from Auckland to Wellington was forced to turn back this morning after pilots noticed a crack in the cockpit windscreen.

A spokeswoman for the airline said the crack had appeared in the outer pane of the Captain’s side cockpit window.

“Pilots followed standard operating procedure and returned to Auckland as a precautionary measure,” she said.

“The aircraft landed without incident at Auckland, with passengers re-accommodated on an alternative aircraft.”

The plane is being inspected by engineers and is expected to return to service later today.

http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/2524320/Air-New-Zealand-plane-flew-with-cracked-windshield

Meanwhile…

Air NZ Jumbo jet makes emergency landing in Canada

An Air New Zealand Boeing 747-400 on a trans-Atlantic flight from London Heathrow to Los Angeles was diverted to Goose Bay, in Labrador region, Canada, making an emergency landing after pilot had dumped about three tons of aviation  fuel.

According to the Aviation Herald online, a passenger suffered a heart attack, however Air New Zealand declined to give any details.

http://www.nznewsuk.co.uk/travel/?ID=2544

Related News:

Additional Links:

Click Link for: Total number of people killed in Air New Zealand crashes or other aviation incidents in New Zealand

Posted in air NZ crashes, Antarctic sightseeing, Erebus crash, major air crashes, plane crashes in New Zealand | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »

Ecocide By Royal Appointment

Posted by te2ataria on June 15, 2009

sent by a reader

Spain’s King and Queen Will Fly to NZ

Let’s hope they’ll fly an Airbus to support the ailing company [preferably an Air NZ Airbus]

[The rest  this post was temporarily withdrawn at the request of its author, who is re-writing it.]

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Posted in Air pollution, Climate Change, ecocide, GHG, New Zealand tourism | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Jetstar Airbus Catches Fire Midair

Posted by te2ataria on June 11, 2009

Breaking News: Cockpit Fire Forces Jetstar Airbus A330 to Land in Guam 

Related Links:

Posted in air travel, jetstar cockpit fire, qantas, safe airlines, smoking jetstar | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Flying Air New Zealand?

Posted by te2ataria on June 3, 2009

Take Your Loved Ones – They’d Be Lost without YOU!

The follwoing quote comes from MSRB

Airbus Must Come Clean

The Moderators have been expecting another Air New Zealand Airbus A320 to plunge into the sea (again), based on the airline’s safety statistics, but Air France beat the kiwis to it!

The probability remains that the next major air disaster would occur as a result of an Air New Zealand Airbus crashing into the sea [with a certainty of 0.74]

Related Links:

Additional Links:

Click Link for:  Total number of people killed in Air New Zealand crashes or other aviation incidents in New Zealand

Posted in Air New zealand Deaths, airbus crash, Flying Air New Zealand, Mt Erebus crash, Tourist Deathtrap | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Two US Tourists Forcefully Quarantined in New Zealand

Posted by te2ataria on April 30, 2009

Two American tourists were tracked down by New Zealand police and forcefully quarantined

It’s believed that New Zealand’s South Island police tracked down two United States tourists who had traveled with flu-infected students from Los Angeles and forcefully quarantined them.

The two tourists, believed to be siblings, arrived on Air New Zealand flight NZ1 with Rangitoto College students, but refused to go into quarantine voluntarily as they had no flu symptoms whatever. However, they were then tracked down and arrested by the police and put into isolation.

The quarantine was initially a voluntary measure, but the authorities changed the rules, somewhat arbitrarily, as it is the norm in this country, and made it mandatory.

Health officials had instructed the police to track the tourists, who were found on the West Coast, and place them in isolation.

Related Links:

Posted in flight NZ1, flu pandemics, Los Angeles, Mexico City, Rangitoto College | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Swine Flu Mystery and Air New Zealand

Posted by te2ataria on April 26, 2009

sent by a reader in Palmerston North

Why are so many New Zealanders sickened by swine flu virus, compared with only a few cases in the United States?

Did the virus really originate from Mexico?

Swine Flu Alert!

IF you are flying Air New Zealand, demand that the plane is fumigated immediately before takeoff!

While waiting for your plane to be fumigated, try solving this riddle:

How many ‘A’ are there in New Zealand’s ESR labs?

  • Total number of New Zealanders visiting Mexico City since March 2009: Not very many, possibly a few hundred.
  • Reported number of New Zealanders sickened by Swine flu virus: More than 20 percent of the visitors
  • Total number of US citizens visiting Mexico City or coming into contact with people traveling from MC since March: Hundreds of thousands, possibly millions of citizens
  • Total number of US citizens hit by Swine flu: Less than two dozens

Related Links:

Posted in Air NZ, Auckland, swine flu epidemic, swine flu info, swine flu pandemic | Tagged: , , , , | 10 Comments »

Pilot Error Downed Air New Zealand Airbus!

Posted by te2ataria on February 25, 2009

Watch Our Lips: Read the *&#^*%* Report!

“PILOT ERROR” caused the Airbus A320 to crash into the Mediterranean Sea killing all aboard.


Five New Zealanders died in the crash off the coast of France in November. Photos / l’Independant, via nz herald.

France’s Bureau d’Enquetes et d’Analyses (BEA) said in a  report published today in Paris that the “the plane performed a low speed test at too low an altitude.”

“The report shows a dramatic last minute struggle to save the plane, but it smashed into the sea at 263 knots or 487 kilometres per hour.” Media reported.

“Air New Zealand pilot Brian Horrell was sitting in a middle cockpit seat and an unnamed Air New Zealand engineer was on the flight deck.”

The report says the crew had “not received any specific training for this type of flight”.

The nincompoop Air New Zealand CEO, Rob Fyfe, is naturally upset with his airline’s abject failure to ensure safety. Mr Fyfe said, a “combination of failures” must have been behind the crash.

Yes, Mr Fyfe, you’re dead right, it was a combination of failures: Incompetence, inadequate training, corporate  greed, cutting corners …

In America some pilots can land on water without engines!

Related Links:

Posted in Air New Zealand, Airbus A320, Bureau d'Enquetes et d'Analyses, PILOT ERROR, plane crash | Tagged: , , , , | 3 Comments »

Best News of the Day for the Environment!

Posted by te2ataria on January 18, 2009

sent by a reader

Good News! The number of flights to and from New Zealand are shrinking!

Air NZ pilots face demotion, pay cut

Original Story by Tony Wall  – Sunday Star Times – Sunday, 18 January 2009

air-nz

Air New Zealand plane flown on second-generation biofuel. Original Photo: Guardian UK. Image may be subject to copyright.

More than 30 senior Air New Zealand pilots flying the airline’s largest jets face demotion to smaller aircraft and reduced pay as the company looks for ways to avoid large-scale redundancies in the difficult economic climate.

The Sunday Star-Times reported that 32 pilots currently flying 747s, 777s and 767s on long-haul routes will be “down-trained” [readers will excuse the pun!] That is to say,  they will fly toy aircraft on domestic routes and have their pay and rank cut [It’s not known whether their homes will be confiscated, too!]

Air New Zealand has about 850 jet pilots [every Tom, Dick and Harry who was previously a pig-farmer,] half of which fly long-haul routes.

Air New Zealand is also offering pilots alternative roles within the company, [shoot yourself in the head,] leave without pay, flexible flying arrangements and enhanced retirement packages [with this option you get to keep their wife, too!]

“According to a government career advice website, pilots who fly internationally earn up to $250,000.” [The pilots working for Colombian drug cartels don’t make that much money!]

According to an  Air New Zealand spokeswoman the “down-training” resulted from an 8% reduction in long-haul capacity due to the world economic downturn. [Is that all?]

Among the long-haul services Air New Zealand cut last year were flights to Japan and Hong Kong from New Zealand. [That’s very reassuring, indeed!]

“We have not made any pilots redundant and remain committed to maintaining a workforce of highly skilled and trained professionals to ensure the airline is quickly able to adapt to changing market conditions,” she said. [They can always fly each other to the South of France, of course!]

Related Links:

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Posted in air travel, Climate Change, jet pilots, large-scale redundancies, long-haul routes | Tagged: , , , , | 4 Comments »

Another Near Miss For Air NZ Flying Coffins

Posted by te2ataria on December 27, 2008

NO Truth from Air New Zealand, even when the grim old guy with the sickle is looking you in the eye

Passengers ‘freak out’ as engine stops

By GREER McDONALD – The Dominion Post | Saturday, 27 December 2008

Passengers on an Air New Zealand Link flight forced to make an emergency landing after smoke filled the cabin say they feared for their lives because staff delayed telling them what had happened.

24264229
One engine down, the other working by nothing short of a miracle. ATR 72-500 operated by Air New Zealand subsidiary Mt Cook Airlines, should be permanently grounded.  Image: ROSS GIBLIN/The Dominion Post. Photo may be subject to copyright.

Waikato Times reporter Matt Richens, who was on the 6pm flight NZ5015, said a large bang was heard near the right engine about 15 seconds after takeoff from Wellington airport en route to Christchurch. Immediately after, the cabin began filling with smoke coming from the air-conditioning units. Read more …

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Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , | 2 Comments »

Air New Zealand Flying Coffin Crashes in the Mediterranean

Posted by te2ataria on November 28, 2008

Reconditioned Air New Zealand Airbus A320 ‘dropped’ into the Sea

The greedy Air New Zealand boss and his equally unethical board of profiteers wanted more bang for their A320 buck

Two Germans and five  New Zealanders were onboard the Air New Zealand Airbus A320 which crashed into the Mediterranean off Perpignan, southeastern France, earlier today. There were no survivors.

The Airline industry is NOT doing well. Airbus A320 seats about 150 passengers and its becoming increasingly difficult to fiind the passengers. The crashed Air New Zealand A320 was four years old [possibly five.] It had previously been leased to two other chartered airlines for a total of more than three years, and was being returned [after being “reconditioned”] to Air New Zealand.

The greedy Air New Zealand boss, Rob Fyfe, and his equally unethical board of profiteers wanted more bang for their A320 buck. It’s not known how much money Air New Zealand will receive from the insurers.

air-nz-plane-like-the-one-crashed
An Air New Zealand A320 similar to the one that crashed in Southern France.
Source
. Image may be subject to copyright.

The information desk attendant at Perpignan Airport, said the plane dropped into the sea very quickly.

“The aircraft crashed direct … It’s not far from the airport. That’s why the aircraft was not very high in the sky … a lot of people saw the crash near the coast of Cannes.” She told reporters.

A French journalist said: “It’s not really clear on what happened … the plane was flying for one hour and a half and suddenly fell down to the sea … There was no explosion, it was flying [at] 300m and suddenly fell down into the sea, but no explosion.”

According to at least one aviation expert, the A320 is “one of the most reliable and safest” aircraft ever built.  So why did it crash? Was it an own goal? Perhaps we’ll know one day!

The crash came on the anniversary of another deadly Air New Zealand disaster which killed 257 passengers and crew when the plane smashed into Mt Erebus while on a sightseeing flight (!) in Antarctica.

the-crash-scene-on-mt-erebus-in-auntarctica-2

the-crash-scene-on-mt-erebus-in-auntarctica-in-1979
Wreckage from another Air New Zealand aircraft, flight TE90, strewn on Mt Erebus in Antarctica while on a sightseeing flight. Some 257 passengers and crew were killed. Source. Images may be subject to copyright.

In Air New Zealand’s Mt Erebus disaster, both pilot error and Air New Zealand [they changed  the flight plan without informing the crew] were at fault, according to separate inquires. High Court Judge Peter Mahon, head of the royal commission of inquiry, accused Air New Zealand of intentionally misleading the inquiry through an “orchestrated litany of lies.”

The establishment didn’t like the decision by their own trusted judge and had it overturned by another poodle judge, to avoid paying adequate compensation to the families of the victims.

Come Fly Air New Zealand: Our pedigree sheep lamb aircraft are fully “reconditioned!”

Related News Links:

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Air Lines, Air Accidents …

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Posted in Mt Erebus crash, Murder, New Zealand, Perpignan Airport, Rob Fyfe | Tagged: , , , , | 37 Comments »

Sick as … Air New Zealand!

Posted by te2ataria on September 9, 2008

Google’s internal KGB has blocked this post – Sept 13, 2008.

submitted by a reader

Air New Zealand: The Flying Pigpens Flushed to a New Low

air nz tattoo
NZ Airline promoting changes to its domestic flight check-in process wants to pay people $1000 each to have their heads shaved and tattooed with advertising. Source Yahoo. Image may be subject to copyright.

The “pig farmers” at Air New Zealand, the same people who had their plane with all of its passengers fumigated like a herd of diseased sheep in April, are now offering desperate New Zealanders NZ$1,000 (about $500), to have their heads shaved and tattoo with advertising.

“How better to tell our customers … than through messaging they can read while they’re standing in a queue?” Air New Zealand ‘s marketing manager Steve Bayliss said.

“We’re launching a promotion to find guys and girls who want to put their hands up to be `cranial billboards’ … people who are willing to give us the back of their heads for two weeks.”

Air-NZ-Cranial-Billboards

The desperate morons who stand out among the crowd would be selected, shaved on the spot and tattooed on the back of their heads.

Mr Bayliss said check-in queues had become a fact of life: “You end up staring at the back of people’s heads, waiting for the line to move”. (Source)

 

Do You Feel Lucky Flying Airborne Pigpens with Head-Tattooed Zombies Eying You? Well, Do Ya, Punk?

Related Link:

Posted in Murder, New Zealand, pollution, rape, Tourism, tourist, Tourist Deathtrap, Travel | Tagged: , , , , , | 3 Comments »