World’s Dumbest

New Zealand: World’s Dumbest in Everything

Quote of the Day from the Radio Station for the Dumbest

NewsTalkZB

“The number of people on benefits has risen by 1.2% since Nov mostly due to univ students but 2,250 fewer people are on the dole”

http://www.newstalkzb.co.nz/newsdetail1.asp?storyid=187145

World’s Dumbest Pilots

Two New Zealand pilots have been banned after racing car on airport runway.

Two pilots have been banned from one of New Zealand’s busiest airports after they sneaked on to the runway to race a car.

World’s dumbest Sheila January 2010

A 26-year-old woman is in a critical condition after a car-surfing stunt  in New Plymouth.  She fell from the roof of a four-wheel-drive car and was run over by the vehicle about 7pm on January 13, 2010.

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• The World’s Dumbest Publican of 2009

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• The World’s Dumbest Female Friends
  

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The World’s Dumbest Breast Flasher (“Tit-head”)

If Quadbike Thrill Not Enough, Flash Your Tits.  Cherelle May Dudfield, an Invercargill female, stood in the middle of a busy road flashing her breasts at passing motorists on September 27, however her fun soon ended in shock when she was hit by a car. As she rolled over the bonnet and the weight of her … body smashed the windscreen. “Well-padded” Dudfield did not sustain any injuries.

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The World’s Dumbest Prosecutor

From: Catch two fish with one lure! Your honor, the defendant touched the plaintiff’s genitals inappropriately as he proceeded to perform urethral piercing on her at the victim’s request!

The World’s Dumbest Attorney General

The World’s Dumbest Attorney Geneal is New Zealand’s Chris Finlayson

Finlayson said, “the overall standard of the bar, and particularly the criminal bar, is not high enough in New Zealand”.

He was considering giving judges the power to impose financial penalties on lawyers who wasted time and increased court costs, and said there were too many “incompetent” lawyers.

But, New Zealand’s legal problems is more to do with corrupt, incompetent judges. What are going to do abot that? [Finlayson has so far refused to comment.]

“One even told me recently of a lawyer who, having no knowledge of basic court etiquette, addressed the court by saying ‘Yo judge’,” Finlayson said.

Asked by National MP what he intended to do to improve the overall standard of the Bar, the dumbass replied: “I am tempted to say ‘Yo Sandra’.”

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Story sent by a UK reader [Edited by TEAA]

The Dumbest thief in the world is a kiwi

So is the dumbest … and the dumbest … even the dumbest …

‘Dumb’ NZ thief leaves his name

A thief in New Zealand has taken the unusual step of leaving his contact details at the site of his crime.

The man reserved a copy of Pink Floyd’s The Wall at a record shop in Christchurch, leaving his name and phone number, before robbing the till.

He was a regular customer at the shop and already had several records on order.

Store manager Garry Knight described the unconventional method of stealing as one of dumbest things ever done.

Mr Knight said that although the shop assistant’s attention had been distracted by helping another customer, two other people in the shop had witnessed the theft on Friday.

“It’s comical,” he said

Mr Knight said that if the man had looked up, he would have seen a monitor showing him dipping into the till from four different angles.

Police were contacted but the man had left the area.

Mr Knight predicted the case would not take long to crack.Copyright BBC

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/8204938.stm

kiwis:

• The Dumbest Teenagers
  Teen attacked with hammer in Palmerston North

SCARRED: Nineteen-year-old Blake Coleman was slashed with a hammer after he approached a group of 15-year-olds drinking in The Square on Friday night. Photo: JONATHAN CAMERON/ The Manawatu Standard. Image may be subject to copyright

• The Dumbest Drivers
  Car crashes into toddler’s bedroom

A Car crashes through a toddler’s bedroom, Otara, Auckland. Photo: NZPA. Image may be subject to copyright

• The dumbest [and evilest] Rustlers
  Three men charged over aviary killings

• The dumbest [and evilest] burglars
  Burglars beat a cat so severely during the robbery it had to be put down

• The dumbest cannabis growers
  Police seized 141,000 cannabis plants nationwide this year – the highest number in 10 years – and arrested 1125 people over a five-month anti-cannabis operation.

• The dumbest rugby players/school students
  Seven suspended after schoolboy brawl

• The Dumbest ‘Romeos’
  Man jailed for sex with teenager, 14

• The Dumbest ‘Blackmailers’
  Blackmail alleged after employee caught stealing

• The Dumbest ‘Rapists’
  Man demands sex from a heavily pregnant woman

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Another top position for diseased New Zealand

New Zealand already boasts the world’s highest rates of:

SPECIAL CATEGORIES: 

1. Tourist Deaths. More visitors are murdered, killed or otherwise lose their lives while in New Zealand than in any other country in the world. [In fact, tourists deaths in NZ could by higher than the   combined total in the rest of the world.]

2. Sex and Labor Slaves. New Zealand hosts as many as ¼ million sex and labor slaves, by far the highest in the OECD countries 

• One in 10 sex slaves worldwide work in New Zealand [and Australia,]  or in ‘prison-brothels’ on various pacific Islands owned/protected by New Zealand [and Australia.]
  

• Nearly every single kiwi fruit, apple, tomato…  produced in New Zealand is picked by a labor slave

3. Male Rape. New Zealand male rape and sexual abuse rates are highest in the world

The Formal List

1. Child maltreatment deaths
2. Crime Rates – Serious crime is impacting about 800,000 kiwis each year (NZ pop. is only 4.3 million – 2009 stats)
3. Rape victims (less than 8 per cent of all sexual offenses were reported to, or registered by the police, with a conviction rate of 13 per cent. In other words, for every 100 rape cases only one case ends in conviction.)
   
4. Suicide rates
5. Pedophilia
6. Teenage pregnancy
   
7. Cannabis and methamphetamine use [every kiwi is high on something]
   
8. Property crime victims
9. Assault victims
10. Motor Vehicle Deaths
    
11. Single parent families
12. Imprisonment in the Western World
13. Crime victims
14. Asthma prevalence
15. McDonald’s restaurants per capita
16. Obesity in the OECD
17. Adults prosecuted per capita
18. School dropouts
19. Melanoma
    
20. Food poisoning cases
    

[Note: In some lists kiwis occupy the 2nd or 3rd highest position in a few of the above-listed categories.]

And one of the categories that doesn’t exist officially:

21. The most spied on group of people in the world.

Globally, kiwis are the most spied on group of people [‘nation’] by their own ‘government’ (Brits share the spot jointly; Americans NOT far behind.)

And here’s some more

22. New Zealand has the highest number of driveway deaths [toddler-killing] in the OECD.

23.  New Zealand women have the highest numbers of sexual partners in the world. They sleep with  an average of 20.4 sexual partners, condom-maker Durex said. [The global average is 7.3.] New Zealand women also came top as the only female group more promiscuous than their men, who averaged 16.8 sexual partners.

24. Child Abuse: The statistics cited below are just the tip of the iceberg!

Child, Youth and Family agency, substantiated cases 2010-2011

• 12,595 emotional abuse
• 3,225 physical abuse
• 1,505 sexual abuse
• 4,762 neglect

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AND NOW…

New Zealand has the world’s highest reported incidents of Legionnaires’ disease –Research

“NZ the Legionnaires’ capital of the world, study finds”

“New Zealand has the highest reported incidence of Legionnaires’ disease in the world, a new study has found.”

“This research shows the incidence of Legionnaires’ disease in New Zealand is much higher than previously identified,” the lead researcher, Professor David Murdoch said.

Some 238 cases – 5.4 cases for every 100,000 Kiwis – were identified between May 2015 and May 2016, the report said.

Legionnaires is a severe form of pneumonia which frequently goes “undetected because of inconsistent use of diagnostic testing and the uncertainty about whom to test.”

“In 63 percent of patients studied, it was caused by bacteria called Legionella longbeachae, commonly found in soil and compost.”

“In 22 percent of cases, it was caused Legionella pneumophila, found in lakes, streams and artificial water systems such as plumbing networks – particularly in pipes.”

Read more…

“Legionella pnuemophila can grow and spread in artificial water systems, meaning people can contract the disease by breathing in small droplets of water containing the bacteria,” a report said.

“But there’s nothing in the building code that requires it,” Master Plumbers chief executive Greg Wallace said.

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Sports Related Deaths – latest reported incidents

Man confirmed killed in light plane crash
Saturday, 15 June 2019 – 2:42pm  –  Waikato

“One person has died following a light plane crash near the north end of Coromandel Forest Park. Police had been working with RCCNZ and LandSAR to locate the plane since last night.”
“It was reported overdue about 4:25pm yesterday. The plane was located crashed about 10am by ground search teams.”
“The sole occupant of the plane was found deceased.”
https://www.police.govt.nz/news/release/one-dead-following-light-plane-crash
[The dead pilot’s identity has not been released, as of posting.]

Surfer Killed at Sandy Bay near Whangarei
Friday, 14 June 2019 – 7:19pm – Northland

A surfer was killed at Sandy Bay near Whangarei. Police have not provided any details as of posting.
The incident happened just after 4.30pm on Thursday.
https://www.police.govt.nz/news/release/death-sandy-bay-near-whangarei

Danish hiker killed in Karangarua Valley, South Westland – name release
Wednesday, 12 June 2019 – 1:29pm – Tasman

The hiker who was killed in Karangarua Valley on 11 June was 21-year-old Jonas Legaard Sorensen.
He was visiting New Zealand from Denmark.
https://www.police.govt.nz/news/release/name-release-missing-man-found-karangarua-valley-south-westland

Body of missing British tramper Darren Myers found in Tararua Range
Wednesday, 12 June 2019 – 1:02pm  –  National News

The body of British hiker Darren Myers, 49, was found, almost two weeks after he went missing in the Tararua Range, a report said.

The hiker was apparently killed in a fall. His body was “found at the bottom of a waterfall in “hazardous” terrain, after an eleven day search hampered by bad weather,” the report said.

“The body was located via an aerial search…” police said.

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